Collaborative Divorce for Gay & Lesbian Couples

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Collaborative Pros	Collaborative Cons
• Less Expensive than Trial	• Not Appropriate for Every Case
• Work on your Timeline and your Terms	• Requires Voluntary Participation
• Have an Advocate on your Side	• More Expensive than Mediation
• Opportunity to Work with Mental Health and Financial Experts	• Failed Negotiations will Still End with Court Intervention
• Solve your Disputes Privately	• Giving up Court Protections
• No Wasted Time or Expense in Court
• Negotiate Complicated or Unique Issues Out of Court

Below we have provided answers to many of the common questions that we are asked regarding Mediation. If you would like more information please do not hesitate to call us at 508.655.5980 or e-mail us.

How is Same-Sex Divorce Different?

In many ways divorce law in Massachusetts treats same-sex marriages and opposite-sex marriages the same. For that reason we have included on this page many of the frequently asked questions about Collaborative Divorce below. However, it is also important for you to be aware of the few ways in which these cases will differ from opposite-sex cases. If you are facing a same-sex divorce, failing to recognize these differences or hiring counsel that is not aware of these differences could result in a significantly worse financial result in your case.

Because of the differences between opposite-sex and same-sex divorce, Collaborative Divorce can be a useful tool in addresing these complicated issues without the risks of court. For more information about Collaborative Divorce keep reading:

Frequently Asked Collaborative Divorce Questions:

What is Collaborative Law?
Why should I hire a Collaborative Law attorney?
Who does the Collaborative Law attorney represent?
What is a Divorce Coach?
What are the advantages of Collaborative Law?
Are their disadvantages of Collaborative Law?
Is there a certification in Massachusetts for Collaborative Law attorneys?
How long does the Collaborative process take?
What are the steps in the Collaborative Process?
Does my Collaborative Law lawyer go to Court with us?

What is Collaborative Law?

Collaborative Law is a form of alternative dispute resolution where both parties in a dispute have their own attorney, but those attorneys agree not to go to Court. The goal of the Collaborative process is to reach agreements through negotiation and to avoid the expensive and emotional experience of Court.

In the context of family law, Collaborative Law can be used to resolve disputes involving divorce, child custody and support, alimony, division of assets, paternity, and actions for modification. The process can also include other professionals such as financial planners and mental health professionals using a team approach to help negotiate and settle disputes.

Why should I hire a Collaborative Law attorney?

Hiring a Collaborative Law attorney is a personal decision that should take into consideration the individual facts relating to your case. In some situations, Collaborative Law can be a way to reach an agreeable resolution that costs far less than a divorce trial would. The Colalborative process also provides you with more control over your case by ensuring that your interests and goals are an integral part of the negotiation at every step of the way.

We encourage you to read further about the advantages and disadvantages of Collaborative Law to help you decide whether it would be an appropriate forum for resolving disagreements between you and your spouse regarding how to settle your case.

Who does the Collaborative Law attorney represent?

Unlike a mediator who doesn't represent either party, in Collaborative Law each party has an advocate that advises them regarding their interests specifically. In addition, each party can have their own divorce coach depending on the process the parties choose.

What is a Divorce Coach?

The Collaborative process can include a team approach to divorce which utilizes specialized professionals to assist the attorneys. Attorneys are not trained to deal with mental health issues, which can range from dealing with the loss of a divorce to dealing with mental illness or personality disorders. A Divorce Coach is a mental health professional that participates in the Collaborative process. In some models the Divorce Coach is only called upon when needed, like a therapist. But the trend is towards involving the neutral Divorce Coach (or in some instances two Divorce Coaches, one for each party) in eveyr step of the process.

The Divorce Coach can help the parties deal with their individual emotions that stem from the loss of their marriage, the process of the divorce, and other underlying past issues. In addition, the Divorce Coach can help the parties form a parenting plan and discuss the child related issues in a more constructive manner than the custody/visitation legal context. Sometimes this may also include a Child Specialist, i.e. a mental health professiaonal involved in the case for the sole purpose of helping the parties understand what the children are going through as a result of the divorce, and how to help them.

What are the advantages of Collaborative Law?

Collaborative Law has many advantages over litigation. It is usually far less expensive than going to trial because all of the time spent with your Collaborative Law attorney is spent working towards agreement. When you go to court, much of your attorney's time will be spent on court strategy or on waiting to be heard in Court. Collaborative Law can help you avoid the backlog in the courts, allowing for a more expedient resolution.

In addition to these practical concerns, though, Collaborative Law offers something that the Courts do not offer: the chance to resolve your case on your terms. If you are unable to settle your case in Court a Judge, essentially a stranger who will only meet you for a very limited period of time, will make major decisions about your life. Collaborative Law is your opportunity to make these decisions together. After all, who knows what is better for you than you do.

On a related note, Collaborative Law is also an excellent forum for solving issues unique to divorce that our legal system cannot adequately address. As an example, many couples will litigate who will get custody of the family pets. While most judges are not interested in talking about this, the Collaborative Law process will be able to give an appropriate amount of attention to an issue that the parties may feel is important.

Finally, privacy is an important concern for many of our clients. Court is a public forum. Understandably, many people feel uncomfortable talking about the breakdown of their marriage to a judge in a courtroom full of strangers. Collaborative Law takes place in a more private and comforting environment, where the parties can set their own pace to better accommodate their own emotional and practical needs.

Are their disadvantages of Collaborative Law?

Collaborative Law is not an appropriate forum for coming to a resolution for everyone. For example, when there is a history of abuse between the parties, Collaborative Law often fails because the parties cannot reach the necessary level of trust to mediate their dispute amicably. In Mediation, domestic violence can make resolution impossible, but in Collaborative Law, agreements are still possible becuase the parties both have an advocate. However, the trust issues created by domestic violence can still prevent resolution in many cases.

Even when domestic violence isn't an issue, if the parties are not willing to be forthcoming and praticipate in the process honestly, then Collaborative Law can fail. Reaching agreements in any setting requires at least some level of cooperation and trust, and cases where this cannot be acheived will almost always end in litigation.

Furthermore, there are no guarantees that Collaborative Law will result in an agreement, which could end up costing you more in the long run. You should honestly evaluate whether you and your spouse are willing to participate in an open process before entering into Collaborative Law.

Is there a certification in Massachusetts for Collaborative Law attorneys

In Massachusetts, there is no certification for Collaborative Law attorneys. There are Collaborative Law trainings, which are recomended by the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals. In addition, Collaborative Law attorneys are still required to comply with all of the ethics rules that already apply to attorneys, including confidentiality and advocacy. Attorney Justin Kelsey has taken a Collaborative Law training approved by the IACP, and has considerable experience in the area of family law.

How long does the Collaborative process take?

The Collaborative process can vary greatly in length, but on average it lasts between two and ten 2-hour sessions. A case with fewer issues, such as a Modification or Paternity case, will take less time. A case that is more complicated, such as a divorce involving complicated businesses, self-employment income, or custody disputes, can often take longer. The length of the process will depend on the attitude of the individuals, how complicated their disputes are, and how flexible their schedules are.

What are the steps in the Collaborative Process?

The Collaborative process involves working with a team of professionals to resolve your divorce without going to court. The process involves two attorneys (one representing each party), and can also include a neutral financial planners and either a neutral divorce coach or one to work with each party.

The parties meet together with their attorneys to work towards a mutually agreeable settlement. The parties may also meet individually with their attorneys. The collaborative meetings, similar to mediation, should include full disclosure and voluntary participation. Unlike mediation, though, in these collaborative meetings each party has an advocate that can speak for them and advise them as to their rights.

In addition to meeting with your attorney individually, you may also meet with a Divorce Coach individually and with your spouse. In these meetings, the Divorce Coach, who is a mental health professional, will help you and your spouse get through the emotions of the divorce process and negotiate a parenting plan if you have minor children. You may also meet with a neutral Financial Planner with your spouse in order to create budgets and a complete asset and liability schedule.

With the help of the Financial Planner and the Divorce Coach, you will meet with your attorneys in group meetings. In these meetings you will confirm the financial details presented by the Financial Planner, present your separate interests, and brainstorm solutions to resolve the divorce disputes in a collaborative setting. In addition, as needed you will meet with your attorney and the divorce coach individually throughout the process to ensure that you are comfortable with the progress and fully informed of your rights.

Does my Collaborative lawyer go to Court with us?

Once an agreement is reached, the parties and their attorneys file it with the Court and present the agreement to a Judge at an uncontested divorce hearing.



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