Mediation - Gay & Lesbian Divorce

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Mediation Pros	Mediation Cons
• Less Expensive than Trial	• Not Appropriate for Every Case
• Work on your Timeline and your Terms	• Requires Voluntary Participation
• Solve your Disputes Privately	• No Advocate at your Side
• Negotiate Complicated or Unique Issues Out of Court	• Failed Negotiations will Still End in Court
• No Wasted Time or Expense in Court	• Giving up Court Protections

Below we have provided answers to many of the common questions that we are asked regarding Mediation. If you would like more information please do not hesitate to call us at 508.655.5980 or e-mail us.

How is Same-Sex Divorce Different?

In many ways divorce law in Massachusetts treats same-sex marriages and opposite-sex marriages the same. For that reason we have included on this page many of the frequently asked questions about divorce mediation below. However, it is also important for you to be aware of the few ways in which these cases will differ from opposite-sex cases. If you are facing a same-sex divorce, failing to recognize these differences or hiring counsel that is not aware of these differences could result in a significantly worse financial result in your case.

Because of the differences between opposite-sex and same-sex divorce, mediation can be a useful tool in addresing these complicated issues without the risks of court. For more information about medaiton keep reading:

Frequently Asked Mediation Questions:

What is Mediation?
Why should I hire a Mediator?
Who does the Mediator represent?
What are the advantages of Mediation?
Are their disadvantages of Mediation?
Does it matter if my Mediator is a lawyer?
Is there a certification in Massachusetts for Mediators?
How long does Mediation take?
Will the Mediator help me prepare court documents?
Does the Mediator go to Court with us?

What is Mediation?

In technical terms: Mediation is a form of alternative dispute resolution where a neutral third party attempts to open and improve dialogue between two individuals in hopes of finding an acceptable resolution to a dispute.

Put more simply, Mediation involves two people hiring an impartial mediator to help them reach an agreement.

In the context of family law, mediation can be used to resolve disputes involving divorce, child custody and support, alimony, division of assets, paternity, and actions for modification.

Why should I hire a Mediator?

Hiring a mediator is a personal decision that should take into consideration the individual facts relating to your case. In some situations, mediation can be a way to reach an agreeable resolution that costs far less than a divorce trial would.

We encourage you to read further about the advantages and disadvantages of mediation to help you decide whether it would be an appropriate forum for resolving disagreements between you and your spouse regarding how to settle your case. For additional information to help you decide if Mediation is right for your read this article on The Divorce Center's website.

Who does the Mediator represent?

A mediator doesn't represent you or the other party, nor does a mediator represent both of you. It is not ethical or practical for a lawyer to represent both parties in a Divorce. In fact, Rule 1.7 of the Massachusetts Rules of Professional Conduct prohibits a lawyer from representing a client if that representation will be directly adverse to another client unless the lawyer reasonably believes the representation will not adversely affect the relationship with the other client AND each client consents after consultation.

Although both clients might consent, it is not reasonable to believe that a lawyer can represent two adverse clients at the same time in the same action and look out for both of their interests. It is possible to have a lawyer act as a mediator but in that case the lawyer does not represent either party and is not looking out for either of your individual interests as an advocate would. Instead, the role of a mediator is to assist the two parties in reaching an agreement that they are both satisfied with, regardless of whether that agreement in the opinion of the mediator might favor one party or the other. It is also possible to have only one party hire an attorney, but it is important for the other party to recognize that that attorney is not looking out for their interests too.

What are the advantages of Mediation?

Mediation has many advantages over litigation. It is usually less expensive than negotiating your agreement through two attorneys and it is far less expensive than going to trial. Mediation can also help you avoid the backlog in the courts, allowing for a more expedient resolution.

In addition to these practical concerns, though, Mediation offers something that the Courts do not offer: the chance to resolve your case on your terms. If you are unable to settle your case in Court a Judge, essentially a stranger who will only meet you for a very limited period of time, will make major decisions about your life. Mediation is your opportunity to make these decisions together. After all, who knows what is better for you than you do.

On a related not, Mediation is also an excellent forum for solving issues unique to divorce that our legal system cannot adequately address. As an example, many couples will litigate who will get custody of the family pets. While most judges are not interested in talking about this, a good mediator will be able to give an appropriate amount of attention to an issue that the parties may feel is important.

Finally, privacy is an important concern for many of our clients. Court is a public forum. Understandably, many people feel uncomfortable talking about the breakdown of their marriage to a judge in a courtroom full of strangers. Mediation takes place in a more private and comforting environment, where the parties can set their own pace to better accommodate their own emotional and practical needs.

Are their disadvantages of Mediation?

Mediation is not an appropriate forum for coming to a resolution for everyone. For example, when there is a history of abuse between the parties, mediation often fails because the parties cannot reach the necessary level of trust to mediate their dispute amicably. Furthermore, there are no guarantees that mediation will result in an agreement, which could end up costing you more in the long run. You should honestly evaluate whether you and your spouse are willing to participate in an open process before entering into mediation.

Does it matter if my Mediator is a lawyer?

In Massachusetts, there is no requirement that a mediator be a practicing attorney. However, non-lawyer mediators are not able to perform some of the duties that their attorney colleagues can. For example, non-lawyer mediators are prohibited from drafting a separation agreement, because this is considered the unauthorized practice of law. Couples completing mediation with a non-lawyer often hire an attorney afterward to draft a separation agreement based on the results of mediation, or they draft the separation agreement themselves before going to court. A mediator who is also an attorney can draft a separation agreement that the couple can later take to court when finalizing their divorce. Furthermore, the expertise of an attorney may be useful in your mediation if you require information on other legal issues that sometimes arise in divorce cases, such as tax or bankruptcy issues.

Is there a certification in Massachusetts for Mediators?

In Massachusetts, there is no certification for Mediators. However, there are requirements if you want your Mediation to be kept confidential. Massachusetts General Laws Chapter 233 Section 23C requires three elements for a Mediation to be confidential. First, you must enter into a written agreement with the Mediator. Second, the Mediator must have completed at least thirty (30) hours of training in mediation. Finally, the mediator must have at least four years of experience or be a member of a dispute resolution organization that has been in existence for at least three years, such as the Massachusetts Council on Family Mediation, Inc.

Attorney Justin Kelsey meets these standards and if you sign a written agreement to hire Attorney Kelsey as your mediator then all communications and work product of your mediation will be confidential pursuant to the statute.

How long does Mediation take?

Mediation can vary greatly in length, but on average divorce mediation last between four and ten 2-hour sessions. A case with fewer issues, such as a Modification or Paternity case, will take less time. A case that is more complicated, such as a divorce involving complicated businesses, self-employment income, or custody disputes, can often take longer. The length of the mediation will depend on the attitude of the individuals, how complicated their disputes are, and how flexible their schedules are.

Will the Mediator help me prepare court documents?

Once an agreement is reached, a mediator who is also an attorney can help the individuals prepare court documents, such as the Separation Agreement. If you need assistance preparing your Financial Statement, or you need advice as to whether an Agreement is in your best interest then you should consult with an individual attorney. Although, a Mediator can help you prepare an Agreement, they cannot provide you with individual legal advice.

Does the Mediator go to Court with us?

Because the mediator does not represent either party, the mediator will not attend court with you, even after an agreement is reached.



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